Occupy Octomom

It's 2009, right? Sorry, I don't know why I made that the title of this post. JUST DID IT. That's my reboot of Just Do It, which, in my opinion, isn't hardcore enough. Just do it? You lazy layabout, I JUST DID IT.

Anyhow, the NY Daily News has an interesting article here that suggests that the NYPD is encouraging drunks, drug dealers, and other unstable undesirables to congregate at Zuccotti park in an effort to unbalance Occupy Wall Street's fragile ecosystem. It seems likely, and it's super depressing, because it seems like this influx of negative elements will be difficult for the protestors to combat.

It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, via Vintage Kids' Books my Kids Love.

via Zoobunny

Commonly Misspeled Words

Misspeled

Correctlie

Nanosciencez

Katburg

Hopp

Werdsmyth

PoppaJohn's

Questino

Appointamint

What'sthehapspop?

Deresdagerbil

Hamm [the food]

Ham [the actor's last name]

Jon [the slang term for "thing"]

Jawn [the actor's first name]

Costume Idea

Angelina Jolie's baby. Via Superpunch2

Jokes for Kids!

I was on the playground, playing by myself with my toy dinosaurs. A girl came over and said, “Has anyone ever told you you’re weird?”

“No,” I said, “You’re the first one. I guess that makes you weird, huh Weirdy McWeirdenstein?”

She started to cry.

I said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. Do you want to play dinosaur hunter?”

And we did.

We played as only children can.

Gillian Wearing

Gillian Wearing is an English artist. You can see a portion of one of her series above, in which she recreated old family photos using herself as a stand-in for the original subject. She crawled into the person's skin [yuck] using latex masks and costumes. If you're low on nightmare fuel, just look into that baby's eyes in the top photo.

France is Bacon

Awesome story by Lard Baron, via Reddit:

When I was young my father said to me:"Knowledge is Power....Francis Bacon"

I understood it as "Knowledge is power, France is Bacon".

For more than a decade I wondered over the meaning of the second part and what was the surreal linkage between the two? If I said the quote to someone, "Knowledge is power, France is Bacon" they nodded knowingly. Or someone might say, "Knowledge is power" and I'd finish the quote "France is Bacon" and they wouldn't look at me like I'd said something very odd but thoughtfully agree. I did ask a teacher what did "Knowledge is power, France is bacon" meant and got a full 10 minute explanation of the Knowledge is power bit but nothing on "France is bacon". When I prompted further explanation by saying "France is Bacon?" in a questioning tone I just got a "yes". at 12 I didn't have the confidence to press it further. I just accepted it as something I'd never understand.

It wasn't until years later I saw it written down that the penny dropped.

AIGA Metro North

I had a lot of fun speaking to the AIGA Metro North last night in Sleepy Hollow, NY [see spooky mansion, above]. They had a costume party where everyone dressed up as dead brands: Circuit City, Doublemint gum, Gateway, Wachovia, etc. This one dude dressed up as Jack LaLanne, and the costume was SPOT ON. He walked around lifting heavy things and doing pushups. Apparently he also designed the Jose Cuervo bottle [the guy, not Jack LaLanne]. Thanks to Paula from Flood Creative for inviting me. She invented NOS, which blows my mind. I didn't realize that was a job, inventing energy drinks. The polaroid above was taken by Scott Lerman, who used this big, badass old polaroid camera, the kind the size of a small bank safe, with a blinding flash bulb mounted on the side.

Cover by Edward Gorey.

GPOY

Walken in Heaven's Gate. Yow. Taken from Walken A to Z.

via epic4chan

Chevy even shops funny! Via Yimmy's Yayo.

My Neighbor Skeletor

My Neighbor Totoro/He Man mashup by Clarke Snyder

Stiller Pride

via

Fükfas

I will be "camping" [in a house] this weekend with my fellow members of the super secret/exclusive internet memebot supergroup Fükfas. If you're in the Poconos, meet us at the Casino. We'll be the ones dressed all fancy, attacking the buffet like a pack of fancy-dressed raptors.

Breaking Bad Freaky Friday

Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul dressed as each other’s characters at the Breaking Bad wrap party. Via evangotlib

Get Caught Reading

via

Teenage Mutant Ninja Noses

Yes, this is a thing.

Amazon put book stores out of business. Up next: publishers

The New York Times has an article about Amazon's intentions to cut publishers out of its book-selling assembly line. It will act as its own publisher, discovering, editing, and promoting authors itself without the participation of outside publishing houses. The crucial difference between Knopf or Amazon publishing a book is that Amazon controls the book-buying audience and sales. This allows them to sell their books for less, position the book with more control, and marginalize competing titles.

Some people will argue that authors shouldn't have to crawl to the publishing establishment now enshrined in NY. And it's good that Amazon is reaching out to authors who were unable to reach an audience through traditional publishing methods. However, if Amazon puts traditional publishers out of business, then it will become the establishment. An establishment that wields far more power than the current publishing houses.

Although initially Amazon's entrance into publishing may increase the power and freedom of writers, eventually Amazon's complete control of book creation and distribution will benefit only their bottom line.

Good advice, via John de Guzman

“Everybody is a genius. But, if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it’ll spend its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

--Albert Einstein

Did Albert Einstein really say this? I don't know. But it's a nice quote, so I choose to believe that he did. Oh, before I forget, here's another great Einstein quote:

"Doogie Horner has a great blog. Er, what I mean to say is, he will have a great blog, 57 years after I die. I can see into the future because I'm a scientist. It's something all of us can do, but we don't tell normal people, because they would fear us if they knew how much power we actually wield. I love cheese."

--Albert Einsteinberg, my old landlord

Untitled—Keith Haring,1989. via Cave to Canvas

"Yeah, I called you a sorcerer. What are you gonna' do about it?"

Alexander the Great

I bet people who didn’t like Alexander the Great tried to get away with not saying his whole name.

“Hey there, Alex.”

[Alexander the Great just stands there.]

“What ho, Alex.”

[Looks around.] “I’m sorry, but who are you talking to?”

[sighs] “What ho, Alex the Great.”

“Alex the Great, who’s that? That sounds very similar to my name . . .”

“Hello Alexander the Great.”

“Oh, hello! Hi. Nice to see you. So—are you ready to be beheaded?”

“Yeah, great.”

In this photo: Dr. Peter Venkman, Bob Wiley, John Winger, Raleigh St. Clair, and Steve Zissou.

Oh, Buster.

Liquid Television is back—sort of

Liquid Television was a TV show that used to air late, late at night on MTV during the 90s, back when MTV didn't suck. Each episode was made of a couple animated shorts including recurring features like the Maxx, Aeon Flux, and Dog Boy. It. Was. Awesome. I remember watching it as a 14 year old and having my mind blown. "Am I allowed to watch this? That chic in the leather bikini just killed a hundred dudes!" Will the shows seem as cool now? Does it hold up? I'm about to find out, because now the entire series is available to watch online at Liquidtelevision.com.

A plucky little independent film called The Avengers

Over at the AV Club, Sean O'Neal wrote a hilarious review of the new Avengers trailer. Excerpt:

Sneaking in under the radar next year is The Avengers, an ensemble piece featuring indie-film favorites Robert Downey Jr. (Two Girls And A Guy), Mark Ruffalo (The Kids Are All Right), Samuel L. Jackson (Coach Carter), Scarlett Johansson (Match Point), Chris Hemsworth (A Perfect Getaway), Jeremy Renner (The Town), and Chris Evans (Puncture) teaming with cult television director Joss Whedon (several episodes ofDollhouse) for an intimate story about the fragile bonds forged between headstrong individualists under difficult circumstances. Asking the question, “What happens when we are so conditioned to be alone that we can no longer recognize a kindred spirit?” the film revolves around people who are so used to being ostracized, they’ve managed to turn it into an asset. In their world, being told to "assemble" means more than just getting together in one place, such as a super-secret military headquarters. It means picking up the scattered pieces of themselves.

via Everything You Love to Hate

Dognapper

EXT. HOUSE

DOOGIE opens the front door and lets his dog TOBY outside. Toby sniffs around. Suddenly a black van pulls up. A masked KIDNAPPER jumps out holding a knife. He grabs Toby, and jumps back into the van.

DOOGIE

[as van pulls away]

Toby! Where are you going? Is that a friend of yours? Wait, you forgot your leash!

INT. VAN - CONTINUOUS

Toby sits on the passenger seat. The kidnapper drives.

KIDNAPPER

Woo hoo! I did it! Pulled it off without a hitch!

Angle on Toby, staring at the kidnapper.

KIDNAPPER

Kidnapping dogs is a brilliant plan. I don’t know why I never thought of this before! They can’t talk, they can’t identify me, I don’t have to tie them up--

The kidnapper notices Toby staring at him.

KIDNAPPER

[to Toby]

What?

Angle on Toby.

KIDNAPPER

What do you want?

Angle on Toby.

KIDNAPPER

I don’t know what you want.

Toby stares with laser-like intensity at the Kidnapper.

KIDNAPPER

Do you want a walk?

He looks at Toby for a reaction. Toby keeps staring straight at him.

KIDNAPPER

Do you want food? Do you want . . . water? Do you want water?

Toby stares.

KIDNAPPER

Do you want a treat?

Toby stares.

KIDNAPPER

I don’t have any treats.

Toby stares.

KIDNAPPER

I don’t know what you want! I can’t read your mind.

Toby stares at him.

KIDNAPPER

STOP STARING AT ME!!

EXT. HOUSE

Doogie sits on the stoop. The van pulls up and the kidnapper gets out with Toby.

KIDNAPPER

[re: Toby]

What does he want?

Toby stares at Doogie with laser-like intensity.

DOOGIE

I don’t know. Toby, do you want . . . your toy?

Toby wags his tail happily and barks. The kidnapper and Doogie laugh.

DOOGIE

[walks inside]

He wants his toy. I’ll get it.

KIDNAPPER

Dogs sure are funny, aren’t they?

DOOGIE

Yeah, they really know how to communicate, you know?

Doogie walks out and gives Toby his toy. It’s a little gun. Toby puts it in his mouth and turns to face the kidnapper. He stares at him intensely.

KIDNAPPER

[nervous]

What does he want?

DOOGIE

I think he wants your van.

Alan Grayson on Occupy Wall Street

[Click to embiggen] Alan Grayson eloquently encapsulates the goals of Occupy Wall Street protestors. Detractors keep trying to paint the protestors as fringe members of society; dirty hippies, weirdos. They're not. Occupy Wall Street is protesting problems that effect a massive amount of Americans, not just art students and, in P.J. O'Rourke's words, "bongo players." You can see video of this exchange HERE.

the Ministry of Secret Jokes, 10/12

This Wednesday at 8pm, Fergie's Pub, 1214 Sansom St. No more white suit, back to the black suit, summer is over. Going to show some new videos from Secret Pants, I have a friend visiting from NYC, and Brendan Kennedy is guarding the Omniana Championship Belt like King Kong atop the Empire State Building. Come check it out.

Blackboards in Porn

Blackboards in Porn is a blog that celebrates those pornographers who go the extra mile when set dressing classroom porn by actually writing something on the blackboard. What do they write, and is it correct? Don't worry, it's safe for work. They don't show any porn, just lots of blackboards and awful acting. Check it out.

Batman v Superman

“Superman is the American Dream. Batman is the American Truth.”
— Bryan Edward Hill

Do you know where I saw that quote? I saw it on This Isn't Happiness. I feel bad, I reblog sooo much stuff from This Isn't Happiness, but I can't help myself! It is so awesome, I'm powerless not to share it.

Hey, I'm here right now, I feel like I should use this blog for what it's supposed to be used for, which is BLOGGING, dammit. I do so much reposting, and image posting, and very little personal blogging on here. So here we go, I'm going to BLOG some very personal bloggy type sheet. Right here. Right now.

I went to my friend Rob's wedding tonight. And as I was walking home, my friends and I passed an old recliner on the street. They started monkeying with it, and I warned them--like a scabby prophet of doom I shook my finger at them and said, "Leave that chair alone, it's probably covered in bedbugs!"

They said, "Hey, there's an unopened bottle of limoncello on this chair!"

I said, "Is it Danny Devito's Limoncello?"

"Yes, actually it is."

So, I got some free limoncello. Drinking it now. But my dog had to sit at home and wait for his evening walk, which was a big bummer to him, and he doesn't care about sweet lemon dessert drinks. The end.

Sometimes life is like this.

Cool book cover, #2

"We live in a system that espouses merit, equality, and a level playing field, but exalts those with wealth, power, and celebrity, however gained."
--Derrick Bell

"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, simply surrounded by assholes."

--William Gibson

Cool book cover, #1

Art Everywhere

via Reddit

Steve Jobs, drawn by Tim Gough