Friday, July 17, 2009
Tattoos
Luke Giordano's Heavy Metal Band Names List
Gun Knife
Pregnancy StairKase
Judas' Hammer
Lord Metal and his Axe-Slingers of Death
Murder Wizard
Slikk Kitty
Baby Graveyard
Bones-2-Bread
Angel Smashers
A Quiet Party in Hell for Two
Anger Force
The Drums of the Anti-christ
Spies of Saruman
Transylvania Pie
George Harrison's Brain Pudding
Lovecraftian Tryst
The Miracle and the Sleeper: A Black Metal Tribute to the Music of Dream Theater
Rapelings from Planet X
Goddkil
Gargoyle Nightmare
Hitlarious
Heavenshitt
Edje Ridor
Curb Stomp Tango
Belt of Souls
Purgeatory
Spleen Karkass
Death Ride
At the Summit of Mt. Sorrow
Rings of the Succubus
Sword Cunt
Handicapped Sacrifice
Premature Decapitation
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Minor Disappointments
100 MINOR DISAPPOINTMENTS
2. Antique worthless
3. Season finale inscrutable
4. Hot tub tepid
5. Spouse aging
6. Long story pointless
7. Mall Santa slightly Asian
8. Caricature looks nothing like you
9. Potato chips baked
10. Savages not noble
11. Picnic rained out
12. Summer camp friends drift apart in the Fall
13. Au pair not attractive; not even French
14. Vacation too short
15. Revenge hollow
16. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
17. Mentor lecherous
18. Sasquatch sighting faked
19. Outfit that looked great in the store looks not so great at home
20. Cookies eaten by roommate
21. Grandparents racist
22. Amish village touristy
23. Organic food unhealthy
24. Pancakes too filling
25. Company outing business-like
26. Triscuits unsalted
27. Twist ending predictable
28. Crossword puzzle difficult
29. Magic eye picture not working
30. Comedian tragic
31. Birthday ignored
32. Presents crappy
33. Holiday stressful
34. Prayer unanswered
35. Nature buggy
36. Ebay bid outbid
37. Innocence slowly eroded
38. Sex anticlimactic
39. Star Wars prequels
40. Party not wild
41. “Best years of your life” okay
42. Nostalgia unwarranted
43. Foreign film hard to follow
44. New haircut funky—not in a good way
45. Swimsuit unflattering
46. Master’s degree useless
47. Foreplay cursory
48. New sweater not complimented
49. Blog ignored
50. Friend request denied
51. Toast burnt
52. Poem unintentionally hilarious
53. Daughter plain
54. Altoids not as intense as their marketing claims
55. Hero rude
56. Bin Laden uncaptured
57. Cat unaffectionate
58. Baby ugly
59. Sermon soporific
60. Imported cheese smelly
61. Portion too small
62. Fancy cigar like sucking on a bundle of burning leaves
63. Really cute heels uncomfortable
64. Leftover french fries inedible
65. Beach crowded
66. Film you loved when you were a kid not so good anymore
67. Three day weekend wasted
68. Role model sexist
69. Boxing match civilized
70. Chicken salad sandwich dry
71. Dog disobedient
72. Puppy to sleepy to play
73. No room for dessert
74. Youth fleeting
75. Second place
76. Psychiatrist preoccupied
77. Old person not full of wisdom
78. Art unappreciated
79. Retirement boring
80. Christmas not white
81. Circus ratty
82. Fortune-teller vague
83. Exercise regiment effects gradual
84. Solar eclipse unimpressive
85. Vending machine out of order
86. Soda flat
87. Expensive wine tastes like regular wine
88. Buffet selection limited
89. New cubicle same as old cubicle
90. Sequel not as good as original
91. Awesome dream just a dream
92. Son not good enough to play major league ball
93. Pen pal dorky
94. Lap dance perfunctory
95. High five left hangin’
96. Scrabble triple word score word disputed
97. Inspirational quote uninspiring
98. Monkeyhouse closed for cleaning
99. Limerick not bawdy
100. Disappointment list depressing