Minor Disappointments

100 MINOR DISAPPOINTMENTS

 1. Fortune cookie empty

2. Antique worthless

3.  Season finale inscrutable

4. Hot tub tepid

5. Spouse aging

6. Long story pointless

7. Mall Santa slightly Asian

8. Caricature looks nothing like you

9. Potato chips baked

10. Savages not noble

11. Picnic rained out

12. Summer camp friends drift apart in the Fall

13. Au pair not attractive; not even French

14. Vacation too short

15. Revenge hollow

16. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

17. Mentor lecherous

18. Sasquatch sighting faked

19. Outfit that looked great in the store looks not so great at home

20. Cookies eaten by roommate

21. Grandparents racist

22. Amish village touristy

23. Organic food unhealthy

24. Pancakes too filling

25. Company outing business-like

26. Triscuits unsalted

27. Twist ending predictable

28. Crossword puzzle difficult

29. Magic eye picture not working

30. Comedian tragic

31. Birthday ignored

32. Presents crappy

33. Holiday stressful

34. Prayer unanswered

35. Nature buggy

36. Ebay bid outbid

37. Innocence slowly eroded

38. Sex anticlimactic

39. Star Wars prequels

40. Party not wild

41. “Best years of your life” okay

42. Nostalgia unwarranted

43. Foreign film hard to follow

44. New haircut funky—not in a good way

45. Swimsuit unflattering

46. Master’s degree useless

47. Foreplay cursory

48. New sweater not complimented

49. Blog ignored

50. Friend request denied

51. Toast burnt

52. Poem unintentionally hilarious

53. Daughter plain

54. Altoids not as intense as their marketing claims

55. Hero rude

56. Bin Laden uncaptured

57. Cat unaffectionate

58. Baby ugly

59. Sermon soporific

60. Imported cheese smelly

61. Portion too small

62. Fancy cigar like sucking on a bundle of burning leaves

63. Really cute heels uncomfortable

64. Leftover french fries inedible

65. Beach crowded

66. Film you loved when you were a kid not so good anymore

67. Three day weekend wasted

68. Role model sexist

69. Boxing match civilized

70. Chicken salad sandwich dry

71. Dog disobedient

72. Puppy to sleepy to play

73. No room for dessert

74. Youth fleeting

75. Second place

76. Psychiatrist preoccupied

77. Old person not full of wisdom

78. Art unappreciated

79. Retirement boring

80. Christmas not white

81. Circus ratty

82. Fortune-teller vague

83. Exercise regiment effects gradual

84. Solar eclipse unimpressive

85. Vending machine out of order

86. Soda flat

87. Expensive wine tastes like regular wine

88. Buffet selection limited

89. New cubicle same as old cubicle

90. Sequel not as good as original

91. Awesome dream just a dream

92. Son not good enough to play major league ball

93. Pen pal dorky

94. Lap dance perfunctory

95. High five left hangin’

96. Scrabble triple word score word disputed

97. Inspirational quote uninspiring

98. Monkeyhouse closed for cleaning

99. Limerick not bawdy

100. Disappointment list depressing