THINGS ROCK N’ ROLL WILL NEVER DO
Die
Turn it down
Turn it off
Let me get some damn sleep
Remember to put out the recycling
Stop rockin
Stop rollin
Just stop it already
Maybe consider throwing an oboe in there
Stop shocking parents
Get married
Settle down
Pay child support
Even acknowledge that the baby looks like Rock N’ Roll
Compromise
Pay a larger portion of the rent because it has the bigger room—which is filthy, by the way
Use an ampersand
Explain what a “backbeat rhythm” is
Take off its sunglasses while you lecture it on proper conduct
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