ROAD TO QUATAR
Starring Tom Green and Owen Wilson. You're thinking, "Tom Green as Bing Crosby?" Nope, he plays Bob Hope. Have I got your attention yet? Well listen to this: Owen wears a green ski mask the whole film and we CGI graft the face of Bruce Lee onto it in post-production. Boom Bam! Too much? Not enough? Okay, how about this:
GRITTY REBOOT OF A ROAD MOVIE, OPTION B:
ROAD TO MOS EISLEY CANTINA
An old Han Solo owes Princess Leia one million imperial credits in overdue alimony. Han and Jar Jar Binks drive cross-country to borrow the money from Greedo’s cousin. Mos Def plays Han Solo, Harrison Ford plays Indiana Jones in some other movie, and we do Han Solo using CGI [or Shia LeBouf with a fake grey beard].
BONUS Million Dollar Movie Idea: This movie idea is actually worth 2 million dollars, but I don't want to start a subset of these blog postings, so I'll just put it here.
BACK TO THE FUTURE 10000 B.C.
Biff Tannen exacts bloody revenge on Doc Brown in the Paleolithic era: Clubs him to death, skins him, separates and salts the meat, then hangs the skins to dry. The film is done all in one shot, in real time, with no cuts or edits.
Remember, if you want to option one of these film ideas, send me half a million dollars. If you make the film, mail me a million dollars [a check, not actual cash].
Trying to figure out what parts I could play in each of the movies? Let me help.
ROAD TO QUATAR: Terrorist #2's goofy buddy who farts when he's nervous or about to commit Jihad.
ROAD TO MOS EISLEY CANTINA: Oboe player.
BACK TO THE FUTURE 10000 B.C.: Caveman.
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