Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Doing Standup at Holiday Parties

Should you ever perform standup at a company's holiday party? The answer is "no."

Have I ever performed standup at a holiday party? The answer is "you betcha," and also, "I'm doing it again tomorrow." I knew it was a bad idea, but I said yes anyway because I'm stupid and also a sadist who enjoys ruining parties.

I actually performed for an office holiday party one other time, like three years ago. I can't remember the name of the company, but I think they were an engineering firm. Half their employees were Greek, the other half were Swedish, and nobody would tell me why. Back then my jokes were even less funny and relatable then they are now, if you can believe that, so the show was pretty apocalyptic, except for three moments:

1. The stage had floor to ceiling tinsel hanging behind it. When I walked out on stage I walked behind the tinsel, instead of in front of it, then acted confused.

2. I did some crowd work with a distractingly gorgeous woman. When I asked if the boss—who was standing next to her—ever sexually harassed her, she immediately and earnestly said "yes." Everyone laughed much longer than they should have, except for her, who stared at me, dead serious.

3. There was a cake-baking contest after the comedy show. I said, "Are you guys excited for the cake contest?" and everyone clapped.

Will this week's holiday party compare favorably to that one? I don't know, 3 good moments is going to be hard to beat. Check back here on Friday, I'll let you know.

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