Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Back from Groundhog Day
"But Doogie, we didn't notice. This is our first time here. We only arrived accidentally after googling 'comedy/yardsale.'"
Why would you google that?
"I was looking for a copy of Don Knotts's comedy album An Evening With Me on vinyl."
That's a good album.
"Do you have a copy?"
"Can I buy it from you on your front lawn for $3?"
"I AM GOING TO WRITE A NEGATIVE YELP REVIEW OF YOUR BLOG RIGHT NOW."
Don't forget to write it in all caps, that way people will know your opinion is well-balanced and not insane.
OH, by the way, above is a photo of me performing at the Philebrity awards as Santa Claus, insult comic. I have video, but I'm not sure if I want to put it up, because it's mostly me asking people "What do you want for Christmas?" and then, no matter what they say, I scream in their face and tell them that's a stupid gift idea. I also use the f-word A LOT.
People tend to not enjoy the character.
And yet I trot it out annually! Why? Because it's a tradition. Telling a stranger "You remind me of the three wise men, except there's only one of you and you're stupid," while he glares at me is part of the season.
Ho, ho, ho: You three ladies in the front row.