Q: What is this shit?
A: You said it.
Q: You call that a hurricane?
A: I don't, but apparently the liberal media does.
Q: What am I supposed to do with all this bottled water I bought? My basement didn't flood or nothin'!
A: Flood your basement with the bottled water.
Q: Yeah, I guess I could do that. But what about all these canned goods I bought?
A: Throw them at the front of your house to simulate hurricane damage. Or alternately, eat them, then throw yourself at the front of your house to simulate hurricane damage.
Q: Okay, I guess. . . . The hurricane didn't even knock down the bitch ass tree in front of my house!
A: Drink a bunch of Hurricane malt liquor. When you drive home, run over the tree with your car.
Q: How are you so wise?
A: Google + Wikipedia.