Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Million Dollar Movie Ideas, the Sequel

Welcome once again to KGB Yardsale’s most popular recurring feature (which is saying something), Million Dollar Movie Ideas. Today’s ideas are worth three million dollars though because they are so easy. They are sequels. Sequels are so easy, a child could make one, if he wasn’t so short (can’t reach the camera!). In the time it took me to write this sentence, I could’ve made a sequel. Now two. Now two and a half (if it is an ambitious sequel with lots of castles and werewolf costumes, which take time for the actors to get into). Now six (if the last three are done quickly, sans skinwalkers).

Check out this sentence.

Pretty good, huh? Now check out the sequel to that sentence, below.

Check it out 2: Mean on the Streets.

Whoah! I know you read that sentence. Why? Because you remembered how much fun the first sentence was, and you wanted to see the characters you grew to know and love again: Check, their impetuous leader; his sidekick the mysterious Out; and Period, the stunted man child with a lisp.

Here is a list of sequels that haven’t been made yet, but should be. If you want to make one of these, just call whoever made the first one, get their permission, then mail me a check. DON’T FORGET TO MAIL MY CHECK.

Totally Bankable Sequels You Should Make:

Star Wars 2: the Wrath of Khan

What’s Eating Gilbert Grape 2: Beneath the Planet of the Grapes

the Shawshank Redemption 2: Zihuatanejo Nights

Death of a Salesman 2: The Salesman Strikes Back

Back to School 2: Graduate School

Weird Science 2: Godless Abominations

The Gods Must Be Crazy 6: Armageddon

Armageddon 2: The Gods Must be Crazy

Mrs. Doubtfire 2: How Tobias Got his Fünke Back

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